They say change is the most permanent thing in life. Of course, most of the time, this “change” they refer to means situations, circumstances and scenarios. Rarely does it mean people.
Now don’t get me wrong: people rarely change drastically. I believe everybody changes bit by bit every day. So by the end of the year, the person you loved may not be the same person you loved at the beginning of the year. You may not change your routine, you may not change your zip code or even your shampoo, but you will change on the inside.
We learn new things, we assimilate new experiences and we gather new knowledge. Every day is a day where we learn something and arrive at some conclusion. It could be a slight change in an opinion or a change in feelings or an alterations of facts a person believed was once true but has now been proven false. The point I’m trying to make is: we may not change drastically unless something drastic or traumatic happens to us, but we do change in small increments every day, every week and every year. Sometimes, these increments accumulate over the years and changes us significantly. And suddenly you don’t recognize yourself or the person you loved 2 years or 20 years back.
The problem is: change is normal, inevitable even. Especially these little changes. And the fact that two people still love each other after so many years of small changes which in turn amount to a significant change, is just a happy coincidence.
How can you expect someone who loved you 3 years back to love you even now? Ask yourself this: was I the same person when this person loved me on that fateful day? People change and it’s a great blessing if someone who loved you 10 years back still loves you today.
That’s the reason why so many relationships and marriages fail. They especially fail when one person goes off and has an experience without their partner. If one partner travels often or has a traumatic experience and the other one doesn’t, he or she has experienced something that leads to a significant change, while the other partner hasn’t. Change in people isn’t always so obvious, but it happens.
Love is many things but it’s also this huge coincidence. Meeting someone who has a connection with you and falls in love with you is a happy coincidence.
One partner changes and the other partner realizes he or she doesn’t love him or her anymore is also an unhappy coincidence.
So, today, if someone who loves you many years ago still loves you, take a moment to count your blessing. When people change, their qualities and personality change, and the person you loved may not be able to connect with you the same way they did when they met you.
Count your blessings. Remember no one has an obligation to love you forever. If they do, despite all you’ve been through in your life (the good, the bad and the ugly) then be grateful, give them a kiss and sleep tight knowing you’re one of the luckiest people on the planet.